A Picture of A Penis May Not Be Worth A Thousand Words

Still on Tinder. Young, beautiful, athletic guys contact me daily. They start out by telling me that I’m hot and they are attracted to older women. After a few lines of chatting and getting to know each other they ask for my number so that we can text back and forth. Inevitably, after a bit of small talk we come to the dirty talk. I don’t mind talking dirty. Sometimes it’s creative and fun. I like the thought that I can turn a guy on with just my words. I like the thought of them getting hard while I say the things that I would never say to them if I had met them in a regular situation. It’s fun and it excites me to know that there is a beautiful man on the other end getting hard while thinking of me. I can spend hours flirting and talking dirty to the right guy. It makes me happy. I feel sexy and alive. The right guy can make it fun and sexy if he knows what he’s doing.

But some guys don’t get the concept of flirting and texting. They think that flirting is sending dirty pictures back and forth. They are clueless. It drives me nuts when they ask me for my number and the first thing that shows up on my phone from them is a picture of their penis. It disgusts me every time. I don’t get what makes a guy think that’s okay. One guy sent me a video of himself jacking off. No hello. No how are you. Just a video of himself masterbating. He was well built, gorgeous and sexy, but that video completely turned me off. I blocked his number. Just not cool.

Men, listen to this. Women don’t want to see pictures of your junk. Especially when we’re first getting to know you. It’s shocking to open a text that has a picture of a giant penis staring back you. I never expect that. Give a girl fair warning that you’re going to send a nude pic. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been sent a picture of a penis that I find repulsive and have been totally turned off by the guy afterward. Maybe if we were alone, in the dark and he entered me and it felt good I would be able to get over the fact that it’s curved or just plain ugly. There have been several guys that I was interested in, but once they sent the picture of their penis I became uninterested very quickly just because of how it looked. One guy’s was so hairy that you could barely see his penis. Another guy’s was curved and just plain weird looking. The head was gigantic and the stem (I guess that’s what you would call it) was skinny and scrawny. Another guy’s penis was beat red, like a dog’s. Gross. Nobody needs a picture of that. EVER.

I’m telling you, guys, don’t send pics of your penis unless it is beautiful, normally shaped and the hair is trimmed around it. AND YOU HAVE PERMISSION TO SEND IT! No matter what you may think, women don’t need to see your hard-on in order to be turned on by you. We need words. We need kisses. We need humor and lust. The unknown can be sexy. Seeing for ourselves is sexier to us than being shown everything before we’ve even met you in person.

I know men are visual and need to see the female body. I get that. And don’t get me wrong, I think men’s bodies are beautiful; your abs, you ass, your strong legs, your arms; even your penis. There’s nothing more beautiful than an erection that is there just for me. Just let me see it up close and personal. Let me feel it and taste it. Let me feel it’s strength as it moves inside of me, just don’t send me a picture of it until I’ve seen the beauty of it in person. I promise you’re chances of getting laid will be much higher.

Can I be frank?

I am a 50 year old woman who is tired of going without. (I turn 50 next month, so I’m owning it early).  Without romance, companionship, sex.  It’s been years since I’ve had a all of those things.  The saddest part about the whole thing is that I was married to a man for 10 years.  He was  tall, beautiful, talented, funny, intelligent …everything a woman could want.  The only thing lacking was sex.   That man could go for years without ever trying to make love to me.  He just had no interest in it.

I should have known something was wrong when we were dating.  He could never last more than a minute, literally.  He would claim it was because he was nervous, or he was feeling guilty about his girlfriend.  (I know, I know…I’m evil.  He was with someone that he was unhappy with.  According to him, they never had sex.  Of course, looking back I totally believe that one!)  Anyway, our sex life wasn’t the best while we were dating.  He ended up leaving his girlfriend and moving in with me.  Sex was still pretty lousy.  But I didn’t care, I loved him.  He was supportive.  He helped me follow my dream of being a screenwriter. He encouraged me to be the best that I could be.

There’s an old saying about married sex.  When you get married, for the first year, every time you have sex you put a penny in a jar.  After the first year, every time you get married, you take a penny out of the jar.  Well, our first year we wouldn’t have put a quarter’s worth in and we wouldn’t have taken a dimes worth out for the other nine years.  We didn’t have sex for the last three years of our marriage.  I was so sexually frustrated.  I can’t tell you how many nights I begged him to make love to me.  I think he probably had a little vomit in his mouth at the thought of it.  He acted like the thought made him sick.

I know that sex isn’t everything, but it is something valuable and important in a relationship.  I need sex.  I crave it.  Sex makes me happy.  But my ex didn’t need it.  Not from me anyway.  He did manage to have an affair with a big old honking bull dyke looking chick, though.  Go figure.  He wouldn’t touch me with a ten foot pole, but he had an affair with the most abrasive and crude nurse at the hospital where we both worked.  Lucky me, I walked in and found them together.  After ten years of marriage, I find my husband screwing a big old heifer on his desk.  Lovely.

He had other issues, like the fact that he kept long evening gowns hidden in the back of the closet and refused to get rid of them.  I put them in a stack for Goodwill, thinking that they would be gotten rid of, but found them several months later hidden in the closet again.  I think he is a cross dresser. I think he is attracted to men or to women who remind him of men.  He was feminine in a lot of ways.  I guess I just didn’t want to see it.  After months of pressuring him, he finally went to the doctor and had a testosterone test.  He had zero testosterone.  He refused to take testosterone pills in order to help our sex life.  He had absolutely no desire to be with me.

I loved and adored him, but after ten years of being rejected I had enough.  Now I’m divorced and am trying to navigate my way through this crazy dating world.

As a 50 year old woman, I have to say I am lost.  Men my age don’t see me.  I’m invisible to them.  I’m not saying I’m gorgeous or anything, but I’m an attractive, fit, funny, friendly woman.  I have big dimples and a friendly smile.  People are naturally attracted to me, but not men in their 40′s and 50′s.  To them I’m some old grandma who is wrinkled and fading away.  Younger men see me.  Younger men still see me as a younger woman.  I noticed it this past summer.  I haven’t worn shorts out in public for years.  My son bought a paddle board for me.  I would take it down to the river where folks walk and run the local trail.  Beautiful, hot guys would smile at me and talk to me.  I know the paddle board caught their attention, but I kept it. It made me realize that I’m not some faded out old biddy.  I still have it in me to attract men.

I read an article about a woman in England who was 60.  She said that when she turned 60 she felt unwanted, nonsexual and dried up.  She wanted to feel like a woman again.  She decided she was tired of dating older, flabby men so she joined a website called Tinder.  She posted that she was 54 and sat back to see what kind of response she would get.  Evidently she had a great response.  Tinder is a site where you post a picture and a little bit about yourself.  Very basic stuff.  If a man likes you he’ll click a heart button and if he doesn’t, he’ll “x” you out.  If you like him too, it will let him know that you are a match. She said that men in their 20′s and 30′s responded to her because they are tired of younger women.  They like older women because we have no inhibitions.  We know what we want and aren’t afraid to ask for it.  According to her  blog, she had slept with 15 young men in a year.

I know that a lot of people read that article and thought that it was horrible.  I’m sure they called her a slut and a whore, but when I read it I thought “good for her”.  I know exactly how she feels.  I long for good old passionate sex.  I want to feel like the sexy, attractive woman that I am.  I want to have a man make love to me more than once in a night.  I want a man to ravish me.

So, I joined Tinder.  Right away I started getting matches from guys in their twenties and thirties.  A few forty something’s, but mainly younger men.

I’m going to see what happens and share it with whomever may read this blog.  I don’t know if I’ll be brave enough to do the one night stand thing, but I’m going to see where this goes.  It’ll be fun.  I’ll post a blog for each adventure that I go on.

Wish me luck!