A Picture of A Penis May Not Be Worth A Thousand Words

Still on Tinder. Young, beautiful, athletic guys contact me daily. They start out by telling me that I’m hot and they are attracted to older women. After a few lines of chatting and getting to know each other they ask for my number so that we can text back and forth. Inevitably, after a bit of small talk we come to the dirty talk. I don’t mind talking dirty. Sometimes it’s creative and fun. I like the thought that I can turn a guy on with just my words. I like the thought of them getting hard while I say the things that I would never say to them if I had met them in a regular situation. It’s fun and it excites me to know that there is a beautiful man on the other end getting hard while thinking of me. I can spend hours flirting and talking dirty to the right guy. It makes me happy. I feel sexy and alive. The right guy can make it fun and sexy if he knows what he’s doing.

But some guys don’t get the concept of flirting and texting. They think that flirting is sending dirty pictures back and forth. They are clueless. It drives me nuts when they ask me for my number and the first thing that shows up on my phone from them is a picture of their penis. It disgusts me every time. I don’t get what makes a guy think that’s okay. One guy sent me a video of himself jacking off. No hello. No how are you. Just a video of himself masterbating. He was well built, gorgeous and sexy, but that video completely turned me off. I blocked his number. Just not cool.

Men, listen to this. Women don’t want to see pictures of your junk. Especially when we’re first getting to know you. It’s shocking to open a text that has a picture of a giant penis staring back you. I never expect that. Give a girl fair warning that you’re going to send a nude pic. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been sent a picture of a penis that I find repulsive and have been totally turned off by the guy afterward. Maybe if we were alone, in the dark and he entered me and it felt good I would be able to get over the fact that it’s curved or just plain ugly. There have been several guys that I was interested in, but once they sent the picture of their penis I became uninterested very quickly just because of how it looked. One guy’s was so hairy that you could barely see his penis. Another guy’s was curved and just plain weird looking. The head was gigantic and the stem (I guess that’s what you would call it) was skinny and scrawny. Another guy’s penis was beat red, like a dog’s. Gross. Nobody needs a picture of that. EVER.

I’m telling you, guys, don’t send pics of your penis unless it is beautiful, normally shaped and the hair is trimmed around it. AND YOU HAVE PERMISSION TO SEND IT! No matter what you may think, women don’t need to see your hard-on in order to be turned on by you. We need words. We need kisses. We need humor and lust. The unknown can be sexy. Seeing for ourselves is sexier to us than being shown everything before we’ve even met you in person.

I know men are visual and need to see the female body. I get that. And don’t get me wrong, I think men’s bodies are beautiful; your abs, you ass, your strong legs, your arms; even your penis. There’s nothing more beautiful than an erection that is there just for me. Just let me see it up close and personal. Let me feel it and taste it. Let me feel it’s strength as it moves inside of me, just don’t send me a picture of it until I’ve seen the beauty of it in person. I promise you’re chances of getting laid will be much higher.


What a waste of a beautiful body

I finally had my first one night stand with a Tinder guy. I did take myself off of Tinder, but I’ve been texting a couple of guys in the meantime. The young man that I met, we’ll call him Jason, was a bald cutie with huge dimples. His pictures on Tinder were of him running track and doing athletic stuff. He didn’t have an ounce of fat on him. Big smile, nice body and his texts were funny.

He was a persistent little shit. Texted me out of the blue a lot asking me to come over. He acted like we had known each other for ages. He seemed very comfortable with the notion of us hooking up. After a couple of weeks I thought “What the hell. Might as well. It might be fun.” I was nervous as I drove to his house. Told myself that if I wasn’t attracted to him, I’d just leave. I had trouble finding his place. Took me a lot longer to get there than it should have, mainly because of nerves. Had visions of being tied up with duct tape on my mouth, laying on a giant piece of plastic.

When I finally knocked on his door, I was so nervous I was almost blind. I just gave him a quick hug, barged in to his house and started blabbing like an idiot. Jason lived in a cute older house that had been converted in to apartments. He said that he had just moved in with a roommate. The apartment was pretty bare except for a living room set, big tv and his bedroom furniture. Plenty of room to kill an innocent woman on a giant piece of plastic.

He was sitting in the dark, watching “I am Legend”. Nothing sexier than a zombie movie. I sat on the couch with him. He was very cute. Kind of looked like a bald Joseph Gordon Levitt. He talked and chatted and made me feel comfortable right away. He said that he was a salesman for a local computer company. Evidently he had just come out of a long engagement. He’s just trying to get his groove back, just like I am.

We talked and chatted until he got a text. Then all of a sudden he decided it was time to have sex. He kissed me and then proceeded to take my clothes off. It was fast and frantic and very unsexy. He wanted me to sit on top of him first, but I couldn’t feel a good rhythm. It was weird and too forced. He was well hung, so it didn’t have anything to do with size. There’s nothing worse than a man with a beautiful, giant cock that has no clue how to use it. Since that wasn’t working he decided to do it from behind, so I leaned against the couch; more frantic fucking. Not sexy at all. Right in the middle of it, his phone went off and he stopped to look at his text. Really!?!?!?!? Then he wanted to go into his bedroom. I asked him if that was where the plastic was spread out so that he could kill me. He said I was funny. At that point I was kind of hoping that was the case. It would have been more exciting than the sex we were having. Once we were on his bed, sex wasn’t any better. I felt like I was fucking an 18 year old boy. No rhythm, no real lust or passion, just fucking. He didn’t even try to explore by body or try to make me feel good. He pounded away at me without caring if I felt good or not.

After he came we talked and chatted for a little while longer and then I left. I didn’t feel one bit satisfied. Just used. I guess that’s what I get for hooking up with strangers. He asked me if I wanted to come back over on Thursday. I told him yes, but I have no intention of going back. I don’t think there’s any hope of it being any better.

The next day he texted me and asked how he was. He told me to be honest. I told him he was lovely and that sex was great. In other words, I lied through my teeth. I should have told him that he has no clue how to make love to a woman. He had no rhythm. He had no sense of what it means to be inside of a woman and FEEL her. He should have touched me, explored my curves and paid attention to my breasts. I can cum just from someone sucking and biting my nipples. I should have told him that you don’t have to fuck hard in order to make a woman cum. Sometimes nice and slow makes me cum more than hard and furious. Exploration is key. Explore every nook and cranny. Learn my body and what makes it tick. I know it was our first night together. I’m sure he was just as nervous as I was, but it could have been much better. It should have been lusty and sweaty and hot. Instead it was cold and boring. I shouldn’t have lied to him. He’ll never make a woman happy if he’s never told the truth.

I wish I could teach him that it’s all in the way you make the woman feel. A man needs to make a woman feel like being inside of her is the one place on earth that he wants to be. He needs to convince her that her pussy is the one pussy in the world that his dick has been searching for. He needs to make her feel like he never wants to leave and that being inside of her makes him happier than anything else on earth. He should make her feel like Her kisses are the only ones he craves. A woman needs to know that having sex with her is all he cares about at that moment. No phone calls,text messages, sports show or movie is more important than being with her and inside of her. (Turn off your fucking phone, guys! Especially when you’re getting laid!) He should make her feel that she’s all that matters. If he can convince her of that, she’s all his. Even if it’s a lie and he knows it’s going to be a one night stand, he should leave her trembling, breathless and wanting more.

My last longterm lover spent hours and hours making love to me. I’ve never been with a man who could last as long or who was as good as he was. He felt every stroke, every breath, every quiver. He knew my body better than I did. We made love all night long and then woke up and made love again. He’d come home from work just so that we could have a quickie. He couldn’t get enough of me. He told me that I was beautiful and he couldn’t resist me. I’ll probably never find a lover like him again. Maybe I shouldn’t hold a stranger up to his standard. That’s probably not fair.

I thought about calling Jason and telling him the truth; offering to teach him, but I’m not sure if he’ll understand what I”m trying to say. He’s 27. I’m not sure if he’s old enough to comprehend what real love making is or if he’s too old to learn new tricks. Maybe some day it will click for him. I hope it does. He’s too fucking handsome and hung for it to go to waste.

I’m learning so much about how “hooking up” works. I’m not sure how I feel about it. I want to have sex, but I want it to be worth my while. Hopefully someday soon I’ll find a good partner. I want to be courted. I want a man to pursue me. I want the anticipation and lust that I felt when I was young and dating. Not sure how to go about finding that again and I’m not going to go without until I do. So I’m going to keep plugging away for now. I used to say I’d rather have no sex than lousy sex, but at this stage of my life I’d rather have lousy sex than no sex. Oh my gosh! I think I’m turning in to a guy!

The one thing I do know is that I’m happier as a single gal than I was as a married gal. I’d rather kiss a few young, inexperienced toads than lay in bed with an old one who has no interest in me (and wears dresses behind my back).

Done rambling for now. Just got a text from my other Tinder buddy. Wish me luck!