Giving a Guy a Second Chance Just Might be Worth It Sometime

I have an update.   Jason, the beautiful runner with the huge cock who was a little wonky the first time I was with him called me again.  Well, I say called.  He sent me a text that said “Come fuck me.” Some guys don’t waste their time with sweet nothings.  I agreed to go over to his place in the middle of the day.  It was my birthday week, so I thought “What the hell.  MIght as well.”  He’s cute.  He has the most beautiful smile and blue eyes.  And I’ve already written about his beautiful body.  Hard to resist being near something that gorgeous. There’s not an ounce of fat on him. He has the most amazing legs and abs. I had to see him again, even if the sex was going to be lacking.  The first time we were together it was like fucking a 17 year old boy.  Frantic and furious.   I wanted to see if he would be better the second time around.  To my great surprise he was!

Whenever I got to his house, we sat on the couch for a little while and watched “Breaking Bad”, which is my all time favorite show.  If it’s on, I’m gonna stop to watch no matter what is going on. I figured at the very least I’ll get to watch good t.v.  After a few minutes of watching, he looked at me, looked down at his crotch and smiled. He had a raging hard on.  He told me to take my clothes off, which I did.  I straddled him, and he told me to do whatever I needed to do in order to be satisfied.  I took my time and rode him nice and slow, feeling every inch of him.  I say every inch, but really it was probably half of what he has.  It was hot.  I came a couple of times.  He actually paid attention to my breasts this time, which felt so nice.  That’s one of my favorite things about sex.  Turns me on to no end.

Sex with Jason this time around felt like grown up sex.  No hard core fucking, just pleasure. At one point he asked me to lay back on the couch.  He entered me, but couldn’t go in very far.  He kept saying “let me in”. I didn’t know what he meant by that.  I thought I was.  I was open and legs spread as far as I could. I would position my hips to try to help him, but nothing would help it go in deeper.  Poor guy.  He’s so big.  I can imagine it’s hard for him to find many women who can take it all. I’ve realized that my vagina isn’t very deep.  I haven’t really been with guys who are huge until Stephen and Jason, so I never knew that I was on the smaller end of the scale as far as vaginas go.  I’m built for an average sized dude, I guess.  We finished off with me going down on him.   We both were exhausted and satisfied.

I left right afterward because I had a birthday dinner that evening.   He looked disappointed when I told him that I had to go.  It’s funny to think that when he wanted to shoo me out the door, it was okay, but when I needed to leave right away, he was disappointed.  It works both ways.  Men can feel a bit used too, I guess.

The second time around was so much better than the first time.  I’m glad I agreed to go over to his place.   It was lovely.  The old me would have written him off as a lousy lay and wouldn’t have given him a second chance.  I’m happy to say it’s not a waste of a beautiful body after all.

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A Picture of A Penis May Not Be Worth A Thousand Words

Still on Tinder. Young, beautiful, athletic guys contact me daily. They start out by telling me that I’m hot and they are attracted to older women. After a few lines of chatting and getting to know each other they ask for my number so that we can text back and forth. Inevitably, after a bit of small talk we come to the dirty talk. I don’t mind talking dirty. Sometimes it’s creative and fun. I like the thought that I can turn a guy on with just my words. I like the thought of them getting hard while I say the things that I would never say to them if I had met them in a regular situation. It’s fun and it excites me to know that there is a beautiful man on the other end getting hard while thinking of me. I can spend hours flirting and talking dirty to the right guy. It makes me happy. I feel sexy and alive. The right guy can make it fun and sexy if he knows what he’s doing.

But some guys don’t get the concept of flirting and texting. They think that flirting is sending dirty pictures back and forth. They are clueless. It drives me nuts when they ask me for my number and the first thing that shows up on my phone from them is a picture of their penis. It disgusts me every time. I don’t get what makes a guy think that’s okay. One guy sent me a video of himself jacking off. No hello. No how are you. Just a video of himself masterbating. He was well built, gorgeous and sexy, but that video completely turned me off. I blocked his number. Just not cool.

Men, listen to this. Women don’t want to see pictures of your junk. Especially when we’re first getting to know you. It’s shocking to open a text that has a picture of a giant penis staring back you. I never expect that. Give a girl fair warning that you’re going to send a nude pic. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been sent a picture of a penis that I find repulsive and have been totally turned off by the guy afterward. Maybe if we were alone, in the dark and he entered me and it felt good I would be able to get over the fact that it’s curved or just plain ugly. There have been several guys that I was interested in, but once they sent the picture of their penis I became uninterested very quickly just because of how it looked. One guy’s was so hairy that you could barely see his penis. Another guy’s was curved and just plain weird looking. The head was gigantic and the stem (I guess that’s what you would call it) was skinny and scrawny. Another guy’s penis was beat red, like a dog’s. Gross. Nobody needs a picture of that. EVER.

I’m telling you, guys, don’t send pics of your penis unless it is beautiful, normally shaped and the hair is trimmed around it. AND YOU HAVE PERMISSION TO SEND IT! No matter what you may think, women don’t need to see your hard-on in order to be turned on by you. We need words. We need kisses. We need humor and lust. The unknown can be sexy. Seeing for ourselves is sexier to us than being shown everything before we’ve even met you in person.

I know men are visual and need to see the female body. I get that. And don’t get me wrong, I think men’s bodies are beautiful; your abs, you ass, your strong legs, your arms; even your penis. There’s nothing more beautiful than an erection that is there just for me. Just let me see it up close and personal. Let me feel it and taste it. Let me feel it’s strength as it moves inside of me, just don’t send me a picture of it until I’ve seen the beauty of it in person. I promise you’re chances of getting laid will be much higher.

What a waste of a beautiful body

I finally had my first one night stand with a Tinder guy. I did take myself off of Tinder, but I’ve been texting a couple of guys in the meantime. The young man that I met, we’ll call him Jason, was a bald cutie with huge dimples. His pictures on Tinder were of him running track and doing athletic stuff. He didn’t have an ounce of fat on him. Big smile, nice body and his texts were funny.

He was a persistent little shit. Texted me out of the blue a lot asking me to come over. He acted like we had known each other for ages. He seemed very comfortable with the notion of us hooking up. After a couple of weeks I thought “What the hell. Might as well. It might be fun.” I was nervous as I drove to his house. Told myself that if I wasn’t attracted to him, I’d just leave. I had trouble finding his place. Took me a lot longer to get there than it should have, mainly because of nerves. Had visions of being tied up with duct tape on my mouth, laying on a giant piece of plastic.

When I finally knocked on his door, I was so nervous I was almost blind. I just gave him a quick hug, barged in to his house and started blabbing like an idiot. Jason lived in a cute older house that had been converted in to apartments. He said that he had just moved in with a roommate. The apartment was pretty bare except for a living room set, big tv and his bedroom furniture. Plenty of room to kill an innocent woman on a giant piece of plastic.

He was sitting in the dark, watching “I am Legend”. Nothing sexier than a zombie movie. I sat on the couch with him. He was very cute. Kind of looked like a bald Joseph Gordon Levitt. He talked and chatted and made me feel comfortable right away. He said that he was a salesman for a local computer company. Evidently he had just come out of a long engagement. He’s just trying to get his groove back, just like I am.

We talked and chatted until he got a text. Then all of a sudden he decided it was time to have sex. He kissed me and then proceeded to take my clothes off. It was fast and frantic and very unsexy. He wanted me to sit on top of him first, but I couldn’t feel a good rhythm. It was weird and too forced. He was well hung, so it didn’t have anything to do with size. There’s nothing worse than a man with a beautiful, giant cock that has no clue how to use it. Since that wasn’t working he decided to do it from behind, so I leaned against the couch; more frantic fucking. Not sexy at all. Right in the middle of it, his phone went off and he stopped to look at his text. Really!?!?!?!? Then he wanted to go into his bedroom. I asked him if that was where the plastic was spread out so that he could kill me. He said I was funny. At that point I was kind of hoping that was the case. It would have been more exciting than the sex we were having. Once we were on his bed, sex wasn’t any better. I felt like I was fucking an 18 year old boy. No rhythm, no real lust or passion, just fucking. He didn’t even try to explore by body or try to make me feel good. He pounded away at me without caring if I felt good or not.

After he came we talked and chatted for a little while longer and then I left. I didn’t feel one bit satisfied. Just used. I guess that’s what I get for hooking up with strangers. He asked me if I wanted to come back over on Thursday. I told him yes, but I have no intention of going back. I don’t think there’s any hope of it being any better.

The next day he texted me and asked how he was. He told me to be honest. I told him he was lovely and that sex was great. In other words, I lied through my teeth. I should have told him that he has no clue how to make love to a woman. He had no rhythm. He had no sense of what it means to be inside of a woman and FEEL her. He should have touched me, explored my curves and paid attention to my breasts. I can cum just from someone sucking and biting my nipples. I should have told him that you don’t have to fuck hard in order to make a woman cum. Sometimes nice and slow makes me cum more than hard and furious. Exploration is key. Explore every nook and cranny. Learn my body and what makes it tick. I know it was our first night together. I’m sure he was just as nervous as I was, but it could have been much better. It should have been lusty and sweaty and hot. Instead it was cold and boring. I shouldn’t have lied to him. He’ll never make a woman happy if he’s never told the truth.

I wish I could teach him that it’s all in the way you make the woman feel. A man needs to make a woman feel like being inside of her is the one place on earth that he wants to be. He needs to convince her that her pussy is the one pussy in the world that his dick has been searching for. He needs to make her feel like he never wants to leave and that being inside of her makes him happier than anything else on earth. He should make her feel like Her kisses are the only ones he craves. A woman needs to know that having sex with her is all he cares about at that moment. No phone calls,text messages, sports show or movie is more important than being with her and inside of her. (Turn off your fucking phone, guys! Especially when you’re getting laid!) He should make her feel that she’s all that matters. If he can convince her of that, she’s all his. Even if it’s a lie and he knows it’s going to be a one night stand, he should leave her trembling, breathless and wanting more.

My last longterm lover spent hours and hours making love to me. I’ve never been with a man who could last as long or who was as good as he was. He felt every stroke, every breath, every quiver. He knew my body better than I did. We made love all night long and then woke up and made love again. He’d come home from work just so that we could have a quickie. He couldn’t get enough of me. He told me that I was beautiful and he couldn’t resist me. I’ll probably never find a lover like him again. Maybe I shouldn’t hold a stranger up to his standard. That’s probably not fair.

I thought about calling Jason and telling him the truth; offering to teach him, but I’m not sure if he’ll understand what I”m trying to say. He’s 27. I’m not sure if he’s old enough to comprehend what real love making is or if he’s too old to learn new tricks. Maybe some day it will click for him. I hope it does. He’s too fucking handsome and hung for it to go to waste.

I’m learning so much about how “hooking up” works. I’m not sure how I feel about it. I want to have sex, but I want it to be worth my while. Hopefully someday soon I’ll find a good partner. I want to be courted. I want a man to pursue me. I want the anticipation and lust that I felt when I was young and dating. Not sure how to go about finding that again and I’m not going to go without until I do. So I’m going to keep plugging away for now. I used to say I’d rather have no sex than lousy sex, but at this stage of my life I’d rather have lousy sex than no sex. Oh my gosh! I think I’m turning in to a guy!

The one thing I do know is that I’m happier as a single gal than I was as a married gal. I’d rather kiss a few young, inexperienced toads than lay in bed with an old one who has no interest in me (and wears dresses behind my back).

Done rambling for now. Just got a text from my other Tinder buddy. Wish me luck!

A Fool and her Booty are Soon Parted (Plus my first Tinder date!)

I have to say that for a 50 year old I’m kind of stupid.  I figured out how to take the famous Kim K booty shot.  I pointed my phone towards the mirror and took a couple of shots.  One of the things that I learned is there is a reason why Miss K parts her legs a little bit.  Your booty looks better for some reason.  I took a simple picture of me in some pink cotton panties.  My room is a little messy in the background, but it’s an okay shot. I made sure to keep the thigh cellulite out of the shot, of course; another trick of Kim’s.

We’ll call my little panty-loving match “Luke”.  I had texted him back and forth a couple of times, so I sent him the picture.  The very second that I did, I realized that I had never put his contact in my phone.  I had just sent my booty shot to my son’s best friend who just happens to be named Luke.  Oh my God!  I panicked.  I sat by the phone and waited for a response.   I told myself that Luke is a good kid.  I’m sure he’s in shock that his  “second mom” just sent a panty shot of herself.  I’m sure I scarred him for life!  That’s my karma.  That’s what I get for being such a sleazy, slutty person.  He’s going to tell my son.  My kids are going to freak out and send me to some sexaholic clinic.  I’m going to be labeled as a cougar.  An old biddy that hits on innocent young guys.  I’m so stupid.

I waited.  No response. I didn’t hear back from Luke.  Not a word.  For a full day and a half.  Then yesterday he sent me a weird text.  “Do you happen to be blessed with the presence of your son with a name almost as beautiful as thee?”  Normally he would say, “Hey, is Mark home?”  so I know he got the photo.  I’m so embarrassed. I don’t think I can ever face that kid again.  His second mom has abandoned him for life.

So, instead of the butt photo I sent the other Luke a shot of my legs.  He said he was a leg man.  He responded right away and said my legs were “wow”.  I’m not good at this.  I want to be sexy, but I don’t think you have to take sexy photos of yourself in order to be sexy.  I know men are visual.  I know they need to see the female body, but there are millions of photos of butts and thighs all over the internet.  They can look at those and wait to see mine in person.

Now let’s get to the good stuff.  I finally went out on a date!  Yay.  Progress, indeed. I went out with a beautiful 29 year old  man that I’ll call “Steve”.  His photos were nice.  Not one shot of him standing next to a dead animal or sucking on a beer keg, which is always a plus.  There was a shot of him onstage, so I knew we had the whole entertainment thing in common.  I figured at the very least we would have film and movies to talk about.

When he called me I heard the soft West Texas drawl that I’m so familiar with.  I had no idea he was from Lubbock until we talked later that night.  His voice and accent made me feel comfortable right away.

We met at Lucille’s on Raney Street.  I had never been to Lucille’s or to Raney Street, so I was happy that I was going to get to experience a new part of town.  Raney Street was jumping;  several blocks of bars and restaurants that are in old houses.  When I parked and saw him standing there, my heart skipped a beat.  This guy was way too beautiful for me.  Tall, fit as hell, beautiful face.  He’s gonna take one look at me and say “no thank you, lady” and walk away.  Much to my surprise he didn’t.  He was very sweet and polite.

Of course, when we walked in to Lucille’s, I walked right on through, but he got carded.  Ugh.  A lovely reminder of our age difference.  Lucille’s was awesome.  Nice atmosphere, good music, lovely hipsters everywhere.  They had giant games of checkers and Tic Tac Toe on the tables.  We ordered a drink and sat in a corner booth.  He stretched out across the booth and made himself comfortable.  What a sexy man.  Beautiful smile, nice lips, pretty eyes…I couldn’t take my eyes off of him.  We had a great chat.  It felt comfortable and right.  He was funny, too, which is the sexiest part of all.  We talked about his acting career and my short films.  We talked about his job doing promos and how much he travels, which is a lot evidently.  We talked about our past relationships and what we’re looking for.  When he got up to go to the bathroom, he asked me for a hug and said that I was sweet, which was sweet.

When we finished up at Lucille’s we went to a bar on West 6th called Kung Fu.  Great music, tons of people hanging out and dancing.  It was a fun atomosphere.  Who knew I was missing out on all of these amazing places in Austin?  I need to get out more.  He received a text from his friend to go across the street to a bar called Dirty Bill’s, so we went over there.  The music was old school hip hop.  Folks were dancing and drinking and having the best time.  His friends were sweet to me and accepted me like I was one of their own.  One of his friends told me that they were from Mumbai (I think)  She said that age doesn’t matter there.  They don’t celebrate birthdays.  When someone dies, they just make up a birthdate to put on the death certificate because they honestly don’t know how old someone is.

We danced and partied until the bar closed.  It was fun to watch him dance and let loose.  He was happy.  The guy is so handsome that some chick came up and asked if she could take a picture with him.

Afterward we went to his friend’s house, where he is staying for SXSW.  We went straight to the bedroom.  I won’t go in to great detail, but I will say that I’ve never been with a man who is so blessed.  I don’t think I could be with him on a regular basis.  My poor body couldn’t take it.  It was a little intimidating.  I’ve always heard that size doesn’t matter, but it does when you’re riding that pony.  Size matters a lot.

The best part was that every second of it was beautiful and sexy.  There wasn’t one false moment in the whole experience.  At least not for me.  Maybe he’s just that good of an actor, I don’t know, but it felt good and right.

So, I busted my Tinder cherry.   I hope I see him again.  I also hope that I’m not making a complete and total fool of myself.  I’m gonna follow through for a little while and see what happens.

In the meantime, I’m having a great time.  It’s fun to see who I match up with and who actually contacts me.  There are some beautiful men out there.  Who knew that some of them would “like” an old broad like me?